Living with Neurodivergence

I moved into my new home in Belfast in may. When I got there the furniture I was expecting wasn’t there. I phoned the Simon to see what was going on but they couldn’t get it to me till the following day. I had slept on the floor a bit before in previous places but didn’t really feel up to it but I just got the things I had and made a bed on the floor. I went out and got a DVD that night and watched it on my compact player. The next day was a bit better as my things arrived and got assembled. I got settled in. The area wasn’t brilliant as there wasn’t much there except a lidls an asda and a couple of little shops but at least I had a home and the street was nice and seemed quite safe. My neighbour on the other side helped me get my gas on as I had problems and I met the other ones on each side. Everything was ok for a while. I quite often got the bus into town as walking in was quite a distance and the pollution level was quite high, it felt like having to fight your way into town. I only ever went as far as the shopping centre. It was also in the middle of a COVID pandemic and the shops were still social distancing. There was a local park I sometimes went for a walk around if I was bored and couldn’t get into the town. A couple of weeks in I started to feel a bit Ill. I was sweating and breathless. I knew I had an infection. I knew I had also lost a bit of weight as my clothes were hanging loose. I went to the doctors and got antibiotics for a few days. I took those and started to feel a bit better but I bought a scale anyway. It was higher than I thought but I still knew my clothes were loose so I just kept an eye on it. I got a fund to help with setting up my home and that helped a bit. I got a second hand washing machine and some other things. I bought tables and things so I could do some crafts and things. I had enjoyed doing the groups but I couldn’t attend the one at the YMCA anymore as it was too far away. Over the next few months I just tried to find things in the local area. I tried applying for a few jobs but there was nothing available. My weight kept dropping sometimes. I was eating normally. I would make stews and curry’s in my slow cooker I got given. Sometimes it would stay the same but I couldn’t help trying things like eating brown bread and fruit and fibre for breakfast. I definitely wasn’t starving myself. I had to go to the doctor a few times regarding different issues. I developed an ear infection at times. The area wasn’t the cleanest and I was worried something might have got in it but I just got prescribed fungal spray. I had problems again with my stomach and had to go back and get more antibiotics. I didn’t want to mention the weight drops as I was still big. Most of my neighbours seemed nice but there was sometimes rubbish getting thrown in my garden. It could get a bit overgrown but I didn’t always have the energy to weed it. I never seen who did it but it started getting stressful. I was there about 11 months when I felt I needed to get away. I had planned to go through to the south at some point so I just did it. I got as much as I could in a suit case and went to Dublin. I spent 4 nights camped by the canal as I seen there were some other people there. I got given hot food and drinks by the street vans and I got visited by the Simon Dublin who said they could get me in somewhere. They got me into a little place for what was supposed to be 1 night but it turned into 2 weeks until I couldn’t spin it out any longer as they were trying to get me to go to the council. I went to the airport that night to sleep and the next day I knew I had to move on so I got the bus to cork. My friend had told me about it so I gave it a try. I booked myself into a tourist hostel so I had somewhere to go when I arrived. I was a bit stressed on the journey as I didn’t really know where I was going but when I got there the place was easy to find. I stayed there 1 night but I had a problem with my foot. There was an infection that had got into the back of it and I couldn’t walk right. I also didn’t feel well, so I went to the hospital that night where I waited about 15 hours in total but I did get to lie down on a trolley for a while. I needed it as I was exhausted so I didn’t move for another few hours but the noise of people being sick and things got to me in the end. The nursing staff made some calls for me and told me about the night shelter in Cork which I went to that night. I used it consistently for the next 3 months where I tried to get a pps number, with no luck. During this time i made a trip to a town in Ireland called Dungarven. I spent 2 weeks camping by the sea. It was lovely weather and I met some people staying in campervans close by who gave me hot drinks and some food sometimes. The wind took my tent down though and I had to go back to the shelter. The first night I got in as normal in a room but the second night I had to sleep on the floor. I wasn’t that bothered about sleeping on the floor as other people had to do it but it was what was behind it and I knew it was them in mainland Britain. I got upset about it then I just bedded down for the night. I occasionally stayed in the tourist hostel and spent my 40th birthday there. Not what I had planned but it was inside. I remember buying a bottle of wine and having it there. Eventually I was forced to return to Belfast. I realized I had only given it under a year and it might be worth another try so I got a ticket and travelled back north.