Living with Neurodivergence

I started back after term. I knew the workload would be heavy, with a dissertation to do but I had decided I would do it on bullying because of what I went through in school. I knew finding people to do it and answer questions would be more tricky but I just got on with it and I hàd extra support now, which I had never had all through school. I still had problems with anxiety but I used the relaxation CDs sometimes and they sometimes helped. I still stayed in the flat with my friend but there was some problems with the other girl as I used music to help me study and was sometimes up quite late and had to move around the flat a bit as sitting down for so long was a problem and I would start getting agitated. and I probably took up some space in the sitting area while studying but i let her have the kitchen mostly to herself as she liked to cook. My weight had steadily gone up since second year , where it hovered around a 14 through second year and into third but I would say it was about 16-18 by this point. I was eating to fuel my brain and get through the extra workload and I used alcohol a bit to help me study. I don’t know if it did but it was worth a try .I still worked at the call centre, but not much as I had to focus on my final year. I put up notices around the college that I needed participants for my study. It took a while but a couple of people came forward and I interviewed them about their experiences in school. It was awkward at times because of the subject and how I felt about it but I also sensed it was difficult for them to talk about, but I got some material. For the rest of it I used some friends/classmates who were happy to talk about it for a while. I managed to get something  together and got through the exam stage too. I was applying for jobs and applied for a psychology assistant post but it was in Maidstone, Kent. I decided to go to it though and stayed over in a nice little b&b outside London which i had to get the tube too, I wasn’t used to getting tubes so i was stressed out but had a nice overnight stay and headed to the interview. I thought it went okay but I could tell I wasn’t what they were looking for and knew I wasn’t successful. I went back to Edinburgh, I didn’t want to apply for any more like that for a while so I just applied to the NHS staffbank where I knew some people worked. I thought getting out of Edinburgh might be a good idea because of everything that had happened but maybe it wasn’t time yet and it would give me some regular income for a while. My friend in the flat decided that she wanted to move back home which was about 40 minutes outside town and so I had to decide what to do. I felt a bit annoyed at her as she had said she wanted to live in the town and I thought that’s what she was but it was her decision. I knew I couldn’t live on my own with the other girl as there were some cultural differences that I couldn’t really live with, so I decided to move on. I also did some driving lessons during this time but I think I was doing too much and couldn’t focus on them so I gave up on them for a while. I couldn’t find anywhere else to live straight away and was struggling with the rent so for the final few weeks of my course I moved back in with my mum and dad. I decided I could cope with the arguments for a while as i was busy with my course and sometimes met up with friends in town, so it wasn’t that bad. I heard back from the nursing bank and got an interview, which I was prepared for and I got a job. There was some training I had to go to but I was just looking forward to getting the course out the way and getting some money together. I got a 2:2 for my degree. It wasn’t quite what I had hoped for but I decided under the circumstances and my dyslexic condition that It was good and some people told me it was too. I just had to find somewhere new to live.